Potty Politics

My husband and I had dinner with my grandparents the other night, and as our conversations often do, they turned to politics. They had brought up a piece of legislation that had not been passed in New York recently, one vote holding it back. This legislation would have dealt with implementing unisex bathrooms across the state. While I could not find anything readily on this newest form, I was able to look up what other states had implemented (Massachusetts being one of them, go figure) and who is fighting for this law to be passed.
The goal of state legislation appears to be, to make all state facilities have unisex bathrooms so that transgendered individuals can have a safe and comfortable place to relieve themselves. While state legislation would not require this of private facilities, commentators believe they would follow suit and that is the ultimate goal of transgendered and "civil rights" groups. Back in 2005, New York was fighting for "equal" bathrooms on the grounds that it takes women twice as long to use the bathroom and while there could be no line to the men's room, the women's line could be a mile long. As a woman and now a pregnant woman who has to use the bathroom every five minutes, I can certainly sympathize with that. This 2005 amendment was asking simply for there to be a higher ratio of women to men’s bathrooms in public facilities, not unisex.
According to womensrights.com, "Segregated bathrooms are an idea whose time has come and gone. Unisex bathrooms are the solution to the urgent issues of personal safety and transgendered inclusion." They go on to claim that unisex bathrooms would not only be safer for transgendered individuals but for little children as well... Fathers would then be able to take their three year old daughter into the bathroom with them and mothers would be able to take their little boy with them because there would be no gender barriers. Well, I don't know about anyone else but I have certainly used a public ladies' room when a mom or grandma has had a boy even up to ten years old with them for safety's sake. I think most people expect that a parent would bring their young child of the opposite gender into the bathroom with them, so who are these groups really looking out for? They are looking out for the sensitive feelings of less than 1% of our population who choose (yes, I said it, choose) to change their sex.
Last semester my school created a unisex bathroom on campus in order to appease, one transgendered individual who had difficulty picking whether they should use the men's or the women's bathrooms. One person! I'm thinking I should ask for parking right next to my classes since I chose to get pregnant and clearly deserve special treatment because of my choice. This is what is so wrong with our society, we take a group of minorities and raise them up above the rest assuring them that whatever they want, they shall have. No thank you, on principle I'd rather walk to the farthest parking spot than be catered to for the choices I made.
While 1% of the population struggles with gender identity, I wonder what the percentage of moms and dads are that would not feel comfortable having their young daughter use the same bathroom as a grown man. I guarantee by a long shot it trumps 1%. One activist claims that if a man really want to do something horrible to a woman or girl in a bathroom, he could simply don a dress and wig and walk into a segregated bathroom; therefore, her claim is that segregated bathrooms are just as unsafe for your little girl as unisex would be. I beg to differ. Blame it on the extensive episodes of Criminal Minds that I have under my belt...I would gather that men who want to assault a female typically feel they have something to prove, that they are as masculine as they come. So a man with a masculinity complex probably is not going to want to feminize himself in anyway. These activists are pulling at strings to prove their case. They say, what would be the difference between a woman seeing a man in the bathroom as opposed to a butch lesbian? Well, a lot. I for one would rather take a tinkle with a lesbian in the next stall than a strange man.
This whole trend of gender neutrality is growing by leaps and bounds. As my summer professor vehemently pointed out that gender is not female or male, gender in essence is your level of which sex you are...meaning you can be genetically (your sex) male but your gender can be on the feminine side. This goes along with the liberal movement of be who you want to be as long as it makes you happy. Women are de-feminized and man are de-masculinized. I think God must be looking down in pain. God made man and woman and was pleased with His creation, yet we scoff at it and think we can enhance the experience; who do we think we are to question God's authority on gender? I grew up much like a tomboy, enjoying rough activities and playing with the opposite gender. But as I've grown and continue to mature (as it will be a lifelong process) I see more and more the value in femininity in women. The same with masculinity in men. I enjoy seeing my husband lift heavy things, seeing war-time photos of him and as independent as I tend to be, I love when he makes decisions for our household. He likes when I wear dresses and bake for him and do little things to make his day easier..it does not make me less of a woman in wanting to please him, but it does uplift him. We both win by following God's original plan for us. Granted some gender roles are simply man-made, the ones that God made for us end up being more fulfilling than not.
The true issue behind unisex bathrooms is not to make this 1% feel more safe and comfortable. As one activist pointed out, transgendered people have been using bathrooms by which sex they identify with or simply by using handicapped or family style bathrooms for years. Then what's the problem now? The problem is that they are not satisfied with gender roles, because they do not wish to abide by them, they want to have company in the breakdown of gender roles; of course they would never admit that. As a parent to be, my biggest concern is safety of my future children. While these activists are thinking about their own comfort level, parents should consider their comfort level in connection with their child's safety. The transgendered individuals fighting for this so called right are grown adults, our responsibility to protect them is not so great as our responsibility to protect our children. Somebody else's choice of lifestyle should not mandate how everybody else lives their lives.

Mosque near Ground Zero Shows Poor Taste

I've been under a rock for the past few months, caring little for what is going on in the world at large. So I was astonished when I found out that there were plans to build a mosque less than a mile from Ground Zero. I thought that I had read a faulty article, that it was a joke, or at least if there was truth to it that it would be squashed immediately. I was wrong on all accounts. Easing back into the world of reality, where justice, consideration and even compassion are stuff fairytales are made up of, I have learned more about this architectural atrocity. Americans, apparently, are Islamophobic...in the most current hip slang that I know, we are "haters"...better get your hater blockers on, because apparently it is also a viciously contagious epidemic sweeping the nation. Whoever is writing these articles clearly never visited a college campus, where it is "cool" to have a diversified group of friends. Having a gay friend is so last year, now the cool thing is to have some Muslim homies. (Maybe I'm old school, but I still like to pick my friends based on conditions like sincerity, trustworthiness and integrity...as opposed to this new trend of picking friends based on the who is the new cool cultural phenomenon.) Lest someone be offended, I say Muslim homies not as a derogatory slam at Muslims, but to make light of the current youths changing and ever shallow preferences.
Religion aside, I don't know how anyone from any varied walk of life could think building a mosque where so many people lost their lives could be a good idea. Having lost a huge part of my life and future plans recently and living through the aftershock of this loss, anyone, and I mean absolutely anyone who has lost someone close to them knows that the way in which that life was lost is a deeply sacred and painful thing that should be respected. With my own personal loss, there really was nobody to blame, it was one of those things that are unplanned and happen and somehow you work through and accept it. Those who lost their lives on September 11th were taken intentionally from those that love them. This was a premeditated act that was intended to inflict pain and suffering for years, generations even. I just do not know, I cannot comprehend how someone can live with the loss of a sibling, husband, wife or parent knowing that somebody wanted them dead. Knowing that this person you spent so many years with, making memories and future plans with will no longer be around to fulfill those future plans because of somebody else's intentional act... Being honest with myself, I do believe that I would probably hate the perpetrators and anyone related even remotely to them. I would wish pain and suffering on them, to feel what I feel. I also believe this is normal, especially as an initial gut reaction to an immense loss. So perhaps there is some hatred toward Muslims, I would be willing to bet that much of that initial hatred has dwindled. At some point in the grieving process it becomes more and more of a burden to hold onto that anger. Of course some people make it their life's purpose to hold a grudge; in a situation such as 9/11, I couldn't blame them, but they are hurting themselves more than anyone else.
The belief that those in opposition to building a mosque so close to Ground Zero are hate filled, Islamaphobes is preposterous. I'll be reasonable in admitting that like in every other group, there are probably some radicals who truly hate Muslims, but I'd stake my life on them being a miniscule minority. The issue is this: thousands of people were intentionally killed by a group that claims to be followers of Allah. Some Muslims argue that the perpetrators are/were not truly Muslim and are radicals...this argument while valid, is moot. This is about being sensitive and compassionate to the lives that were senselessly lost. This is is not about legalism and who's right or who's wrong. People died a gruesome death, leaving thousands and thousands of loved ones grieving their loss. Building a mosque on this ground is saying to those still alive and suffering that their pain is inconsequential to true Muslims being able to have an opportunity to prove that they are peaceful. It says, you're pain is nothing compared to us being able to get our way. Those in favor of the mosque do not stop and consider how they might feel if the shoe was on the other foot. What if it had been thousands of Muslims that were slain that day by a group of radical Christians in the name of God. Years after the fact a moderate Christian group wanted to build a church there in an attempt to show they are peaceful. That would not fly. Muslim families who lost a loved one would still be grieving and rightfully so. The empty place in their home that their loved one once filled would be a cold reminder of what happened to them. That ground would be a reminder of those who in the name of God took their loved one...and now a group claiming allegiance to the same god wants to desecrate that site with their place of worship?
It's about principle and it's about compassion and it's about common respect. You don't spit on a dead person's grave. While it may not sound logical to those in favor of the mosque, to anyone who has suffered a tragic loss it makes perfect sense. You respect the dead in the manner that the dead person or their family would want them to be respected, not in the manner that you personally feel is correct. You do it because someday if you or a loved one is in the ground, you hope that the same will be done for you. The most classy thing that Muslims could do is to demand that the site of the mosque be moved further away from Ground Zero. That would be an immense display of integrity.